I talked to my son on the phone Thursday evening. Saturday afternoon I held him in my arms! He is the sweetest boy like he always was. He is my baby. The cutest smile. Eyes filled with love. So smart and funny! I am proud of him. Even more because he was willing to call me on the phone that day, and then to spend time with me. That is so impressive! I know how hard it was for my children to be away from me because I was suffering too. I was so afraid to talk to their father. I saw him briefly yesterday when he brought Patrick to me. I was nervous to see and talk to my ex but I focused on my son standing before me. I could have cried but I managed to hold it in. I don’t know how. I love and have missed my children so much the past 5+ years! The moment I heard his voice on the phone I cried. I have tears in my eyes now thinking about how much I loved seeing him and being able to give him a hug and kiss. My God, I love you Patrick! I love sister Kerry so much too!
I want to hold him and never let go. I have always wanted to be with him and his sister. They are the sole reason I am alive today. Having my children away from me killed me. It was because of them, hopes for the future, memories, that served to inspire me and keep me alive and striving to achieve a better life. One that includes my children.
His sister wasn’t there but I think in time she will come around and want to have our relationship again. I have dreamed of doing “girl stuff” with her. Being her mom and friend. Someday, when she is ready. I am waiting. ♥