Mental Chaos

Tonight my mind is succumbing to overpowering thoughts of what happened last night. I have not been able to get this memory out of my head all day. It is taking its toll on me now tonight. Too many thoughts, so many bad memories. Last night, overnight, I had a bad dream related to my PTSD. So much happened in it. And so many people. My ex-husband, my family, friends, my children’s old pediatrician (who touched me inappropriately once), and so many others. My children as well, separately and in different parts of the dream, as babies. At one point in the dream I held the corpse of my baby. Much more happened but this holds in my mind the most. Decay was already starting to settle in. I miss my children so much! I wish they knew the truth about me. I wish they would feel my love.  I need you, Kerry and Patrick.  Please, learn the real reason why I have not been able to see you for so long. I love you!


Author: padschicago

Social Media Diva. From homeless to housed by Twitter & networking. Star in #Twittamentary. Interviews by numerous news media. Public Speaker. Advocate. *Not affiliated with Public Action to Deliver Shelter (PADS)*

3 thoughts on “Mental Chaos”

  1. I am feeling better! I might cry from happiness for a month or more! I have cried so many times before because I’ve missed you and your sister. I’ve had so many bad dreams and emotions and still love for you. You and Kerry are the reason I am still pushing forward in life trying to make things better. You are my LIFE!
    Hugs and kisses,
    Love, Mom ♥


  2. I am sorry I wasn’t aware of how bad you felt and I never knew how upset you were until now:-(. now you should feel better now that we can see each other again 🙂


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s