So often when I meet people they are sad for me. I understand. I live under harsh conditions. Being a woman I am more vulnerable. Plus, having post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) severely complicates my life even more. It can be scary and very emotional, potentially making my already stressed mind more fragile.
Thank God. Without Him being there for me and showing His existence I wouldn’t be here. Honestly, without faith in God I very likely would have killed myself by now. But I believe. He has kept me alive and inspired me to keep going! When I felt like I had no one, He was there.
One day I sat and talked to God. I mean *really* talked to God. I asked Him to please hold me together and show me, lead me, to what I should be doing. Before leaving I found a fresh pack of matches. After I got up I found a large, heavy duty, strong, rubberband on the ground. I frequently had use for them so I picked it up and put it around my wrist like a bracelet. I walked with no intention of really going anywhere. I discovered another good rubberband on the ground so I bent and picked it up and put it on my wrist. As I wandered I noticed more rubberbands–at least one every few feet where ever I went!
Suddenly it dawned on me. God had answered my prayer to show me his existence. Matches are used not only to burn the rubbish in our life, but also gives us light to show the way in the dark. God will lead me and show me the way. In my prayer I asked God to hold me together. Much like a rubberband holds things together. Since then I have been gradually shown what I am to do. He opens one piece of the puzzle at a time. Meanwhile I am learning my purpose and starting to get my life back in order. I don’t have all the answers yet–and I never will. Life is a journey of lifelong learning. I glad to have such a great leader inspire me along the way. Thank God.