I have no idea what to really write about today. My mind is so chaotic right now. Its like I have so much to do and don’t know what I’m doing, or what needs to be done.
I used to have a PDA and planner. That helped! I could be more organized and have notes everywhere, LOL. I loved Franklin Covey planner sheets better than other brands, but sometimes I would buy something else. I used to have a laptop too. I could go online or work on other projects like Word documents or Powerpoint even when the library was closed. The laptop was almost like a sleeping aid because at night I’d lay in bed with my laptop, log on to the internet, and be asleep before my email was downloaded, LOL!
I’d do better and not have times like this if I was on psych meds. Right now I am only on meds for medical issues. Its hard. I want them. I know I need them. I have too many moods and potential for reacting to something because of PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder). And times like this, right now, I don’t even know what’s going on in my mind. Maybe I’ve been trying to do too much and I have neurons firing chaotically . I do have a habit of that–trying to do too much at once. But is that so wrong?! Moods like this–is this a type of mood?!–only make everything that I try to do difficult! I keep thinking that–I don’t know. Maybe that I’m not being productive enough? I guess it could be a little anxiety. I don’t know. My mind is too…something I forgot the word for already. Maybe ADD?!? Whatever it is, I feel like I’m not getting anything worthwhile done and doing nothing good. I feel like the stereotypical homeless “bum” who does nothing all day. But I have done some good and productive things today, haven’t I?! I know I have. I am probably being too hard on myself.
I’ve had a great day! I got some great messages and DM’s from people on Twitter. Friends from one of my fave sites, Psych Central, have started following me on Twitter. I have received a lot more hits on my blog and the Pads Chicago website, and received donations through Pay Pal. I’ve been in a decent mood, laughed several times.
It could be something with my health issues? I’ve had a headache, sort of migraine like but not. I remember now that I do usually feel strange, even confused, when it happens. This could be why. I have a rheumatologist but she hasn’t made a diagnosis yet. It’s hell living with these issues. I wish something more would happen! Something so I don’t have all these pains and problems! I am literally sick of it all.
I wish I could go to bed. But being homeless, I have no bed.