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I still feel like a homeless person. I have no money and no income with an SSDI case pending. Once a person is forced to live on the streets and in shelters, you never forget that life. There is compassion and a comradery for others experiencing homelessness. And you never forget. Many times, when I could, I have given food and water, and pulled a homeless person in from the rain for a cup of coffee–this including while I was homeless myself.
I have been #NoLongerHomeless since April 7, 2011. I am now living at Marah’s, a permanent housing program of Deborah’s Place. This organization gives shelter and housing to homeless women. In my location there are thirty of us residing. Without this having been offered to me, I would be on the street not knowing where my life was headed. And I still don’t forget. My mind is now wired to think about homelessness issues. To this day not only do I offer to help and feed the homeless if I can, but I still think like a homeless person. I truly suffer “backpack envy” when I see a really awesome backpack that would have been a great for me when I was homeless. Believe me, I was known around town for my backpacks! I would pack whatever I could inside. My pack was actually weighed a few times. Its heaviest known weight was about 72 pounds. I walked everywhere from town to town carrying that thing on my back. Often times I would have an extra bag for any foods I could get. Sometimes I carried yet another bag–a sleeping bag or blankets. Without trying in my walk tonight I found several places where I might set up camp at night if I was still homeless. Some places were occupied. Its an automatic thought to think like i am still homeless–like backpack envy–because, I will never forget. My brain is too hard wired now on the subject of homelessness. I wish I could do more to help.
Apr 4 7:48pm
Message: IN LOVING MEMORY OF MICHAEL KUGLICH 02/02/1954 TO 04/04/2010 REST IN PEACE
(fyi: I attempted to post the following by email last night and this morning but WordPress instead only published the title of the post. So here goes a try from the web with the added text and slight editing.)
I`m nuts! I have a doctor appointment today and I just happen to not feel good. BUT! The appointment is with a rheumatologist! THAT is a problem. That type of doctor, I guess I can say, is OVER-qualified for treating what is making me feel sick. I understand that she is still a doctor and internal medicine and all that. But I guess its like, you wouldn’t go to a neurologist to have your hemorrhoids removed. (LMAO!) Well, not quite. And its not my hemorrhoids either. But you get my point.
I don’t know what I even want to write. I am tired and drugged on a narcotic pain medicine, but feeling happy overall and better than I was. I am frequently plagued by bad headaches. Another current issue is that the shelters seem to regularly serve high protein/potassium meals. The one Thursday night was especially high and due to kidney damage the high protein/potassium content made me sick. I need to restart food slowly to avoid worsening. I am getting there. And as for the headaches, the Vicodin is finally starting to help today; it didn’t do much for me yesterday. I still feel kind of confused and not right. Like part of my mind is missing? I don’t know. I just can’t think quite right. I don’t know if any of this even makes sense. I don’t plan to re-read it and make sure. I’m just rambling my thoughts on the keyboard. Of what thoughts I think and can remember and make some sort of sense out of, LOL. I think.