Misbehavin’

Oops. Sorry, LOL! My apologies to a certain case manager at Northwestern Satellite Clinic. I sorta know him from Twitter and I’ve tweeted him a couple of times (or “perhaps” more, LOL) since becoming a client. Its a No-No! Ok, so I get impulsive and have to say something sometimes. I understand why and all that and I expected it when I became a client. But like I said, I do get impulsive. If I can get some medication again for ADD that may help the issue. I kinda have to laugh because of my misbehaving. Yeah, my bad. I am a rule-breaker. Its hard to keep out of trouble this way when I am impulsive. Medication should help that. I’ll have to ask about it if the new psydoc doesn’t offer first. I really would like to focus better on things like I used to when I was medicated for ADD. Life was better. Well, it was better until I started working at a certain place that triggered my PTSD because of memory of a certain homeless person who stalked me and…more. He knows who he is. He is still a major trigger. I was warned by the psych people against having any contact with him–even on Twitter. They are cautious. I view my newly following him as an exposure therapy, plus I feel it is fair and appropriate that anyone who needs and wants my help can get it. I will not get in the way of a legitmate request from someone seeking help–I don’t care who it is or what I think of the person! Everyone deserves a chance to get help they need! This brings up a future blog topic about social services agencies that ban a person from getting ANY and ALL services–including food pantry and clothing closet…

Is “padschicago” pregnant?

There is discussion lately among “Padites”, as the homeless around here call ourselves, that I am pregnant. Well, first of all, its none of your damn freakin’ business if I am pregnant! Second, if you want to know, why don’t you just ask me? I am actually laughing at this even though I shouldn’t–and I’ll get to WHY in a moment. Everybody has to know everything going on! People want to know all the gossip! Let things rest people, and let’s just LIVE.

Now, do you want to know WHY I am laughing? NO! I am NOT pregnant!! I may have looked a few months pregnant recently due to some medical issues, but I can certify that I am NOT with child. LMAO!!!

Doctor, tell me it ain’t so!

I saw my kind and compassionate primary care doctor yesterday. We needed to talk about pain issues because Vicodin just hasn’t been long-acting enough to cover my pain. I have been on it for a long time. So in I went.

If you don’t know by now, I give my doctor “friendly harassment” via email. All off the record. Due to rules he cannot reply. The creative genius that my doctor is, he has come up with an alternative: changes to my electronic record and the doctor schedules online. Its up to me to interpret.

Among my usual physical problems, I have been itching a lot. Coincidently, my pain and use of the Vicodin also had gone up. Instead of Vicodin my doctor prescribed a couple weeks worth of Ultram to try. So far, it could be better. The Ultram is in addition to other regular non-narcotic pain medicine that I am on. So…I went online to check out the doctor’s office website and seek out if there have been any changes. YES. My codeine allergy is now “opiod analgesics”. Allergies to morphine and hydromorphone remain unchanged.

I have long suspected a possible developing hydrocodone allergy. I think denial has made me unconvinced. Because of my health issues and narcotic allergies, there isn’t much of anything at all left that I can take for pain!! That is quite a motivator, I think, when it comes to feeling pain. So I have some itching. So I have now started to get a slight rash, not much of one for most people to even consider a possible allergy. But sadly, yes, I know that a drug rash does not necessarily need to be wide-spread. It could even appear as just a couple dots in the same location every time a drug is taken. If I truly am allergic to hydrocodone, I pray something–ANYTHING–happens that will improve my pain issues. He said I could use physical therapy but that is another expense and I have no insurance or Medicaid. Still working on trying to get approved for SSDI. But for now, there is nothing else. I am not happy.

Confused happiness?

I don’t know what I even want to write. I am tired and drugged on a narcotic pain medicine, but feeling happy overall and better than I was. I am frequently plagued by bad headaches. Another current issue is that the shelters seem to regularly serve high protein/potassium meals. The one Thursday night was especially high and due to kidney damage the high protein/potassium content made me sick. I need to restart food slowly to avoid worsening. I am getting there. And as for the headaches, the Vicodin is finally starting to help today; it didn’t do much for me yesterday. I still feel kind of confused and not right. Like part of my mind is missing? I don’t know. I just can’t think quite right. I don’t know if any of this even makes sense. I don’t plan to re-read it and make sure. I’m just rambling my thoughts on the keyboard. Of what thoughts I think and can remember and make some sort of sense out of, LOL. I think.

Long day

I admit, I am becoming a Twitter addict. Should I search for an online tweet therapy? I just started using @HootSuite today and I am loving it! So far, I have to definitely recommend it to all Twitter users as a must-have–especially if you are the type of person like me who tends to try and do too much at once!

I have been bad about posting in the blog lately and I apologize for that. Yesterday I promised a blog post about why I am homeless and writing it is in progress! Keep watching for it with excited anticipation!

Sorry to cut this short today but I have walk to the shelter site now. Luckily, its only about 1-1/2 miles, maybe 2 at most. Tomorrow on the other hand, I’ll have to walk maybe 8 miles or so to get to the shelter site–and the weather forecast is rain! I may get a little muddy and wet. There is no sidewalk most of the way and a small portion may be in the road during rush hour.

Be back soon

Please forgive my lack of posts this week.  Its a week of headaches and Vicodins.  Plus itching, falling asleep during the day and more.  A couple things have happened but I don’t feel like story telling right now.

Let’s get help!

I am typing away, emailing and faxing, trying to get health care for the homeless! I get a lot of requests for referrals to optometrists, chiropractors, dentists, and more. Well, as promised, I AM working on it! In the past I acquired complete eye care one-time-only for 20 local homeless. That has inspired me to continue and expand my efforts! This is entirely a personal project of mine. I am doing this on my own to find help for myself and others. That’s the focus of Pads Chicago–to educate and empower ourselves!

Those of you so inclined, say prayers that we get the extra help we need–thanks! If you are or know someone in health care who may be willing to help, please let me know or ask them to contact me:

Email: padschicago@aol.com
Fax: (661) 885-6105

All providers of services will be added to Pads Chicago’s Friends! Thank you for your help!!

Now what?

I am supposed to take some of my stuff to someone’s storage tomorrow. Unfortunately, he has dropped on me that we can’t do it now. And I HAVE TO get my stuff out of where its at TOMORROW. As in Thursday, June 11th, 2009. There is NO way that I can carry everything! So now what the heck am I supposed to do?! I already carry more weight than I should because I don’t have the storage. I think I was given a weight restriction at one time that was put at 25 pounds? Well, if that’s the case, I’m currently over by about 50 pounds in what I’m carrying with me. It all adds up! Its unbelievable how much weight is acquired from how little I actually have with me. Plus I have to somehow get food from the food pantry tomorrow and carry a bunch of canned goods because I’ll use up what money I have left for the train. Then that $100 bill that I was given a while back will be gone. I didn’t splurge on anything and waste any of it. Every cent has been used for something I need. If anything, I splurged on food, like McDonalds, Taco Bell, etc, on weekends. I have a lot to figure out. I don’t know how to do this.

Relief

I have the best doctor in the world! He has surprised the heck out of me once again. I used my last Vicodin on Saturday and sent a refill request. After some things happened, I honestly didn’t think I’d ever get it again. Sure enough, something else happened today and he re-entered the Rx on to my profile! Tell ya, I almost cried. I couldn’t believe it! I thought for a couple days that I was going to have to go without my extra pain medicine–but here he came through for me! I’m allergic to some drugs and all the rest are bad for kidneys and cause swelling and other problems for me. I don’t know if he had a change of heart, or if it was the last doctor I saw a week ago who “accidentally” deleted the Vicodin and other Rx’s from my profile this past weekend. Whatever happened, I am glad to have my Rx back now. Its not at the pharmacy yet, but its back on my medical profile. I have too much pain sometimes and too many issues. Thank God I’ll have it when I need it!

I have a ton of laundry to do. Thanks to a bright volunteer at the church over the weekend, I now have detergent so I can do it too! Now I won’t have to buy it, so it really helps! I was going to do that today, but I ran long getting things done today so I’ll probably be out washing clothes tomorrow. I desperately need it too!! LOL. I just wish I had a dresser and closet to put everything in when its nice and clean again. Someday. Maybe soon, if I’m lucky.

By the way, I added some new photos to Flickr! Check them out!

Blessings and curses

Another lovely day at the Cross and Crown! I am really tired and have a headache and other problems so I can’t say that I was really alert for all of it, but it was definitely a great day! Plenty of people came. The food was good. Friendship and conversation was all around. The new volunteer who found her way there came back again. Ken offered a great message and music in the service. There was an update on a computer class that they are offering soon.

I finally took a Vicodin for my headache and I’m doing a little better now. Well, I still feel it but at least that part of me is improved. The rest of me…. I should have skipped the food. Its all bad for me. I was starting to get sick the other night already and had some bad arrhythmias. Yesterday it was my stomach and more. Today–its everything. I gotta learn to not eat when I go there. Things could have maybe started to get better instead of worse. My D* kidneys. They don’t filter right. I feel it already. I’m going to be in for a really bad weekend. And its not going to be good with sleeping and living outside. And I’m now out of Vicodin until my doc gets back in the office to ok the refill. Wish me luck on that and more. The most positive thing out of protein and potassium foods making me sick–is I might lose a few pounds, LOL. Not that I’m overweight really, but I wouldn’t mind.