No pain, no gain.

Trying to find motivation for writing this. Right now, oddly enough, it is pain distraction. I’m having some bad renal-related pain on the right side. (It was on the left side in back this morning, but not nearly as bad.) Finally just popped a good, strong pain pill and logged on to WordPress.

I think that pain is what motivates me to writing in my blog the most–whether it be physical pain or emotional pain. There are a lot of times when I would do it more often, in immediate reaction to something, but I don’t have a laptop or netbook computer to capture those moments. So then I text a tweet to my Twitter account from my cell phone instead. Sometimes if I am in a place where I can write privately and have abundant paper with me I will write my thoughts to transcribe later.

Life is like what seems to attract me to blogging: no pain, no gain. It takes some level of effort to succeed and reach goals. When I blog, I gain from readers, and from within my self. In life, I gain by doing things that will lead to taking me out of homelessness. I am trying. And I am doing. I am taking steps to helping myself accomplish that goal. I am trying to make more notes to help me remember things. I am getting mental health care, including counseling and psych medication. I am working with my caseworker regarding psych issues and future housing possibilities. I know that everything is working out. Finally. I am on the right track.

Belly Dancing into my Heart

The From the Heart to the Hip fundraiser for PADS of Elgin last night was a success! Over $1,400 was raised! Woohoo!! There were a lot of raffles with happy winners! I was there and spoke on helping the homeless. I met several current followers and future ones–pleased to meet you!!! As always, I welcome comments in person and any other contact method–email, leave a message on my phone, send a fax, tweet me on Twitter, reply to my blog…

I had a great time last night! The dancers shimmied their way to my heart with their obvious happiness and beautiful dances, and all for a good cause! A table of donated articles of clothing, gloves, toilet paper, and so many other things was stacked full for the Elgin homeless! I met Elgin PADS executive director Dennis Hewitt and he is so nice! I was honestly amazed at the emotion I saw in him as he spoke of the homeless people that Elgin PADS helps! He really got to me with how heartfelt his words and expressions were. He didn’t speak like an “executive director”. He spoke like a person who truly cares about others. God bless him.

Dennis Hewitt, executive director of PADS of Elgin

The fundraiser was sponsored by Serafina with belly dancers from all over the area. They were fantastic! I can’t say who my favorite is because so many performed beautifully–and the outfits–OMG just as awesome! There was someone doing temporary henna tatoos at the show and I got one. The artist did beautifully detailed work! Here’s a picture of the henna tattoo on my hand:

My henna tattoo

I can’t wait to go to another fundraiser event! I plan to be with Black Card Circle on Nov. 19th in Chicago at the Rockit Bar and Grill. Will you join and support their great foundation?!

Long day

I admit, I am becoming a Twitter addict. Should I search for an online tweet therapy? I just started using @HootSuite today and I am loving it! So far, I have to definitely recommend it to all Twitter users as a must-have–especially if you are the type of person like me who tends to try and do too much at once!

I have been bad about posting in the blog lately and I apologize for that. Yesterday I promised a blog post about why I am homeless and writing it is in progress! Keep watching for it with excited anticipation!

Sorry to cut this short today but I have walk to the shelter site now. Luckily, its only about 1-1/2 miles, maybe 2 at most. Tomorrow on the other hand, I’ll have to walk maybe 8 miles or so to get to the shelter site–and the weather forecast is rain! I may get a little muddy and wet. There is no sidewalk most of the way and a small portion may be in the road during rush hour.

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Inspirations

Wow, I just watched Mark Horvath’s interview with St. Anthonys and it was excellent! You should be able to to watch the video here. Some great points!  People really are starting to help each other more and I think this is one way WE CAN do it! Watch it and see some great ideas! This interview has lifted my spirit about service organizations, that there really are some good ones out there! Ones who share similar beliefs as I do!

I have been so sleepy today! Literally falling asleep where ever I sit. I tried caffeine–it didn’t work. It can be a little embarrassing. People don’t realize that I have some health issues and medication that can sometimes make me sleepy. That’s when I really miss not having a home and a bed to go to, so I can sleep off whatever pain or effects that illness can have on me.

I hate pain! But in a way, I am glad to have it. I’ve had pain, both emotional and physical, all my life. When I was little I used to cry myself to sleep at night because my legs hurt. Now, sometimes I still feel like I should cry for my mommy–but I don’t. I take my pain meds and try to put up with it the best I can. So much pain in life and so often has taught me a lot of things, including tolerance. I have considered that pain is actually God’s gift to us. It is meant to make us slow down and think, to learn, and grow.

I haven’t much time before I have to leave for the overnight shelter. I am sorry if I don’t reply to your DM or other posts. I  haven’t been online much today, with trying to walk and attempting unsuccessfully to stay awake.

The bad and the good

Sometimes its not easy to be homeless.  Like when it rains at night and I need to find a dry place to hopefully get some sleep. But there are other times as well.  Like today.  All day because of health issues that the rheumatologist hasn’t diagnosed yet, my kidneys didn’t produce much of anything despite that I was drinking plenty.  Well now they have kicked in!  Just in time for the night, when I hope to sleep.  But NO–I will likely be awakened a few times at least.  There are bushes nearby that I can use–but who wants to use bushes for a toilet?!  Maybe some of this swelling will start to go away after this.  I am still having pains from the swelling occurring.

Something good did happen this morning.  I saw my case worker and we are still working on the connections for mental health stuff.  I signed a release so should could talk to someone.  I told her about me going to a fundraiser for a homeless services place and she was impressed!  She seemed very excited and said that she could set it up so I could get my hair all done up, cut and complete style and everything for it!  That is so awesome!  It has been a whole year since I got a haircut–no frills, just a normal cut, at a homeless shelter.  The cut this time that my case worker would set me up with would be done by students, but just because of how long it has been since I have had a haircut I am still really excited about it!  I asked her about a computer and webcam and there are no webcams there, but I told her about Mark Horvath of Invisible People doing the video interview of me and she thought it was great and she’d look and check in about finding access to one.

Unfocused Ramblings

I have no idea what to really write about today.  My mind is so chaotic right now.  Its like I have so much to do and don’t know what I’m doing, or what needs to be done.

I used to have a PDA and planner.  That helped!  I could be more organized and have notes everywhere, LOL.  I loved Franklin Covey planner sheets better than other brands, but sometimes I would buy something else.  I used to have a laptop too.  I could go online or work on other projects like Word documents or Powerpoint even when the library was closed.   The laptop was almost like a sleeping aid because at night I’d lay in bed with my laptop, log on to the internet, and be asleep before my email was downloaded, LOL!

I’d do better and not have times like this if I was on psych meds.  Right now I am only on meds for medical issues.  Its  hard.  I want them.  I know I need them.  I have too many moods and potential for reacting to something because of PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder).  And times like this, right now, I don’t even know what’s going on in my  mind.  Maybe I’ve been trying to do too much and I have neurons firing chaotically .  I do have a habit of that–trying to do too much at once.  But is that so wrong?!  Moods like this–is this a type of mood?!–only make everything that I try to do difficult!  I keep thinking that–I don’t know.  Maybe that I’m not being productive enough?  I guess it could be a little anxiety.  I don’t know.  My mind is too…something I forgot the word for already.  Maybe ADD?!?  Whatever it is, I feel like I’m not getting anything worthwhile done and doing nothing good.  I feel like the stereotypical homeless “bum” who does nothing all day.  But I have done some good and productive things today,  haven’t I?!  I know I have.  I am probably being too hard on myself.

I’ve had a great day!  I got some great messages and DM’s from people on Twitter.  Friends from one of my fave sites, Psych Central, have started following me on Twitter.  I have received a lot more hits on my blog and the Pads Chicago website, and received donations through Pay Pal.  I’ve been in a decent mood, laughed several times.

It could be something with my health issues?  I’ve had a headache, sort of migraine like but not.  I remember now that I do usually feel strange, even confused, when it happens.  This could be why.  I have a rheumatologist but she hasn’t made a diagnosis yet.  It’s hell living with these issues.  I wish something more would happen!  Something so I don’t have all these pains and problems!  I am literally sick of it all.

I wish I could go to bed.  But being homeless, I have no bed.

Helping you help people like me

People frequently ask me how they can help the homeless.  There are millions of ways to help!  Here are just a few…

• Post in your church bulletin, on community bulletin boards, on Craigslist, etc, asking for room and board of a homeless person, house or other work in exchange for rent until the person has income.
• Offer resume help.  Look it over and give suggestions or help design a new one. Everyone is qualified to do this–it could be your own resume next.
• If you are spiritual, offer to say prayer.  Saying prayer on the spot can even do wonders for a person’s attitude!
• Give clothing, shoes, and accessories needed for job interviews.
• Buy the person a phone card to put minutes on their cell phone, if they have one.  Offer your own cell phone to make a phone call.  Tell the person about GOOG-411–a free phone directory service by Google, by simply calling 1-800-GOOG-411 (1-800-466-4411).
• Help the person set up a free email account online and teach how to use it.
• Help the person sign up and use job sites such as Hot Jobs.
• Assure the person is warm/cool enough during the day and at night according to climate.  Long underwear is always a hit in winter months in colder climates!!!  Check for a hat, scarf, and gloves.  Also wool and warm socks!  Hand warmer packets are good, but remind people that they can burn (especially people who have nerve damage).  Ask if they have a warm enough sleeping bag and blankets.  In warmer months, ask if they would like shorts, or for women perhaps skirts and casual dresses.
• Give camping essentials like a tarp to put on the ground to protect from dirt and moisture; a flashlight; batteries; eating utensil; 1-man tents or a large tarp with pegs to hold in the ground; a mini kerosene cooking stove (there are some that are single-use).
• Give transit tickets for getting to appointments, social services, or soup kitchens.
• Offer help getting laundry done.  Give them supplies. Some laundromats offer their own debit card that the machines use instead of coins.
• Offer non-perishable food like peanut butter (tip: Goober’s brand is peanut butter and jelly and needs no refrigeration), granola and cereal bars, canned goods, potato chips and “shoestrings”, juice and milk boxes or small bottles, water bottles,  powdered drink mixes, fruit rolls, foil-packaged meat and other food products, kipper snacks, beef jerky.  Ask if there is access to a microwave so you may buy microwave-ready foods, including everybody’s favorite, popcorn.  Ask about food allergies or dietary restrictions before you buy!
• Ask about health needs. For medication assistance, refer to programs for help and info like PatientAssistance.com, Partnership for Prescription Assistance, Rx Assist, Medicare Pharmaceutical Assistance Program, Rx Hope, National Conference of State Legislatures State Pharmaceutical Assistance Programs.  Ask if the person has blood pressure and heart problems if they could use an automatic blood pressure monitor, diabetes supplies, or other health needs. Also think to ask if the person has a special diet or nutrition needs, including vitamins.
• Give store gift cards and certificates. Wal-Mart, Target, Walgreens, and other retail–even mall type stores like Kohls or Penneys would make a nice treat. Grocery, restaurant and coffee shop gift cards are also very good. If the person has a car, or gets rides from someone with a car, offer a gas card.

I hope these suggestions help.  I will try to add more from time to time and add these to my site.  I will also try to make list of pharmaceutical companies who have prescription assistance programs, as I am also in that need right now!  Please feel free to comment to this post, email me, or send me a tweet on Twitter if you have any other suggestions, questions or comments.

Where have I been?!

I have been posting pretty regularly on Twitter so you can catch me there if I’m not on my blog.  I am very, very sorry for the lack of posting as well as for doing almost nothing for updating my site. Homelessness is hard.  So is having PTSD and mood issues, besides pain and health problems.  I guess that I have been taking a “vacation” from many things in life and trying to recoup by not “working” as much on things I ought to do.  Not that I am financially reimbursed for the work and time I do as part of my site, faxing and emailing providers to ask for free or discount services for the homeless, and trying to set up a directory.  But its something I love to do!  The reward of getting a response back from someone saying that they will help–its enormous to me!  I feel like I have let people and myself down by not doing this for the past month.  I was productive and busy, faxing and emailing, and updating my website and blog, making a directory of services, trying to do way too much all at once!  It really saddens me to think how little I have done and only posting on Twitter–and not even every day.  With thanks to Mark Horvath from InvisiblePeople.TV and all the inspiration I am getting since meeting him, I am starting to feel renewed–and perhaps almost even a little bit overwhelmed and scared.  I don’t know what is coming forth to me by appearing in his video but here I am opening up and admitting who I am as a homeless person.  I had a personal setback a couple weeks ago and have been starting over with trying to find new housing and health care.  Then I received the message from Mark Horvath as @hardlynormal on Twitter that he had just arrived in Chicago, and got his tweet about meeting him.  And the response from it has been simply amazing!  Talk about a mood booster!!  I can’t believe the response I am seeing from this and have no doubt that something will come of this!  I am feeling so much inspiration and I can’t thank everyone enough!  Please, please, keep this attitude flowing!  And for those inclined, keep the prayers coming.   I have so much more to say but I will end this here…for now.

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